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10,000 BC
Review written on: March 16th, 2008

10,000 BC Review

Of course, we do not quite know what the world was like during this period, but this film is attempting to show us what might have been. I’ll admit that I went into this thinking it was going to suck. It turns out it wasn’t as horrifically bad as I imagined. However, this film had so many things wrong with it, that I might have to write a supplement!

Omar Sharif gives us viewers a little insight into a legend known as that of the “blue-eyed child” and her connection to the dawn of time. The young D’Leh is a budding warrior in his tribe, known for their hunting of mammoths. After he father leaves, D’Leh is often looked down upon, and feels a personal sense of disgrace. Years later, when the ritual mammoth hunting comes upon them, it is said that the winner will win the hand of the blue-eyed foundling that has been adopted by the tribe. D?Leh (Steven Strait) and Evolet (Camilla Belle) have been in love since childhood and it’s clear that they both want him to win.

But life isn’t that easy, as we now know. Evolet and other tribe members have been captured and enslaved by some evil people and taken away. D’Leh’s sole mission: to find his lost love and rescue the rest of his people. Now, there’s more! In his travels, we learn that D?Leh?s father had a wonderful reputation with other tribes and they join him in his rescue mission. Even though the group deals with warriors in other factions, mixes with saber-toothed tigers, and one member who could possibly fulfill a prophecy, it still results in a plot that truly has no originality.

The movie itself had so many strange moments and idiosyncrasies that I?d like to address because they made absolutely no sense, and went against what little historical knowledge we?ve been given.

Firstly, the tribe speaks English, while all the others speak their indigenous tongues. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have them create some kind of native language that contains elements that could have evolved into the basis of the modern tongue? Just a thought?

Everyone in this movie was a bit scruffy and dirty, with filthy fingernails. But they looked a little bit too clean for the time period, where I doubt there was regular upkeep of hygiene. To add to that, they all that the Hollywood smile: perfectly straight and blinding white teeth! Did somebody have a tube of Crest way back then?

Apparently, the locale of the tribe?s residence is somewhere close enough to reach what I assume to be Northern Africa by walking. Only, it?s the kind of terrain they encounter that makes it seemingly impossible. The beginning of that trek takes them from their camp in a snowy, mountainous region similar to the Himalayas or Siberia. On the next leg of their journey, they end up walking through the desert. Once they cross that, they somehow end up in Ancient Egypt. Sidebar: you?ll get a big kick out of the new hypothesis as to how the Pyramids were built.

In all, I couldn’t get over the almost zero probability of most of this being true, particularly the love interest. But the visuals and the colors presented and the smooth-bodied narration by Omar Sharif did give it a tiny bit of ?oomph? which earned it that extra half of a star. I think that The Flintstones television cartoon was more realistic than this movie. This is one that I would not recommend running to see. I was rolling my eyes quite a bit and had much more fun picking this apart, as you could tell. If you are itching to check it out, see a nice matinee or wait for the DVD. It’s really worth paying only $5 or $6.

 

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