The trailers for Hellboy II: The Golden Army looked awesome – all kinds of creatures roaming around, giant monster battles, and of course the wise-cracking Hellboy. While I liked the movie, I didn’t love it.
The Golden Army is about Hellboy trying to stop an army of mythical creatures from attacking humans. At least, in theory. In reality, that’s only the last half hour of the movie. Before that, the characters hunt little Tooth Fairies (vicious little buggers that eat humans teeth first), then try to find the source of the Tooth Fairies. Along the way they stumble across this Golden Army plotline, which involves an ancient prince and princess (twin siblings). The prince (who looks like an albino version of Marilyn Manson) is trying to release the Golden Army, while the princess is trying to uphold her father’s wish that the Golden Army not be released. Hellboy’s sidekick Abe finds the princess in a market and she joins them at the BPRD headquarters.
Since Hellboy exposed the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense to the general public, Johann Krauss (a ridiculous German scientist voiced by Family Guy‘s Seth MacFarlane), a new agent, was sent to keep Hellboy in check. The new team member is causing some friction, since Hellboy isn’t too keen on being baby-sat. Add in some family drama with Hellboy and Liz having domestic issues, the stress of having been exposed to the public, and the generally negative reaction the public has to Hellboy & Co.
While the fight scenes are certainly impressive, as are the creatures (who would have thought of a monster with a cathedral on his head?), it’s just not enough. It’s not a memorable movie by any means. As far as sequels go, however, it didn’t completely suck, which is more than most sequels can say. It wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t a great movie. It’d be nice for a rainy day rental, but I wouldn’t rush out to buy the ultimate director’s edition or anything.
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