Review written on: January 22nd, 2006

Hostel Review

Knowing going into this movie that Tarantino thought it was good enough to put his name on it, certainly helped me want to see it. After all, can Tarantino really do anything bad?

The first thing I did after watching this movie, is went and read those “other guys” reviews, on a few various sites. I wanted to see if I was the only one who thought what I thought, of Hostel. It seems everyone enjoyed the movie. Everyone, except for me. Come on, you knew it was coming. Why didn’t I like it? I’m glad you asked, I’ll tell you.

Hostel was getting a reputation as the “working man’s comeback to making horror films.” I’d heard it was the scariest movie in years, and that people were having heart attacks and vomitting in theaters around the globe. For me? It was boring. The storyline, however interesting it was, lacked what I’d consider real “horror” moments. Honestly, anyone can make a movie about wackos killing other humans for money and fun. I don’t see what the big deal is. One review I read said that “Eli Roth doesn’t pan away when other films have.” Um, yes, he does. Put simply, you have to these days. If we showed, unedited or panned away, the scene where the toe gets chopped off, we wouldn’t even get an R rating. It’d go straight to NC-17. Most scenes where I’d want to see the gore, weren’t shown. The drill scene, the fingers getting chopped off, etc. You get my point. The only part that wasn’t cut away, is the last five minutes of the movie, where there’s a scene showing someone getting their fingers cut off with a scalpel.

I was utterly dissappointed at how much hype this movie got, and failed to deliver. At points in the movie, I felt myself nodding off. Then shortly thereafter, we’d go to the “art exhibit” and hear someone sceaming, to wake me up. The sad fact is, when the movie’s not killing someone, or torturing someone, it’s terrible. If I wanted to watch a movie about people going on a trip to Bratslava, I’d watch Eurotrip again. If I wanted to watch a movie about people getting chopped up, I’d watch Saw. Honestly, I don’t need or want a movie about both.

I’d hoped this movie would at least gross me out in some spots. I’d hoped I’d at least get to go “Eww, that was nasty.” But no, there was nothing in this movie that made me feel any more grossed out than the scene in The Devil’s Rejects, where the girl gets hit by the semi-truck and splatters on the highway.

The movie was filmed to be very dark. And Eli Roth did a good job with that. Almost too good, at parts of the movie, I couldn’t even see what was going on. My eyes were trying to focus on three different things, and couldn’t, because the entire “torture” part was pitch black. Almost as if they were trying to hide what was really going on.

The storyline was an interesting one though. You can become a member of this “club”, where you pay money to torture and kill other people. Where they’re from depends on how much it costs to kill them. Interesting, I guess. I can see why Tarantino wanted to put his name on it. Though I think if he made that type of movie himself, it would have been much better than Hostel.

The bottom line is I’d say this movie’s a good “rent for Halloween” movie. But don’t both with it, unless you either a) want to see what the hype’s about, or b) are a serious horror fan. While this movie didn’t gross me out, or scare me, that doesn’t mean it won’t scare you. This movie is not for the faint of heart, or people who don’t do well with blood and gore. Be warned.


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