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Public Enemies
Review written on: July 4th, 2009

Public Enemies Review

Such high hopes.  How could this movie possibly not be any good?  Johnny Depp and Christian Bale as opposing forces in their lead roles?  How could it not be fantastic, right?

Well, it’s not. It’s not even close to fantastic. It’s not even close to good.  It’s 2 hours and 20 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.  It’s 2 hours and 20 minutes that you’ll wish the movie would just end so you could go home.

Every time Dillinger (Depp) got captured, I thought “This it it! It’s over! I can go home now.”  But alas, he always escaped prison, and went on the run again. Over, and over, and over and over again.  It seemed like the whole movie was him escaping from the cops, and being on the run.

The movie focused very little on the actual bank robbing, and the “publicly loved” portion of Dillinger’s career as a crook.  Instead the movie made it a point to show how dumb the FBI were in their initial stages.Many times Dillinger walks right down the street in front of an Agent, and they don’t notice.  At one point he walks into a squad room at the Chicago Police Station that says “Dillinger Squad” on its door, and they don’t even notice! Seriously?  What the hell? Did this really happen?

The movie had entirely too much “shaky camera” in it.  At times all I could think was “put the friggen camera on a tripod or somethin'” or “don’t let the guy with Parkinson’s hold the camera!”  Shoddy camera work, coupled with a barely audible voice track made it a very unenjoyable experience for me.  Add in a boring story and plot for the film, and you’ve got a movie that I’m beyond pissed about having seen.

On Tuesday of this past week, I read a review on another site that said “Public Enemies is the best movie of the year.”  I shall not name that website by name, nor will I ever visit it again.  That’s the problem with sites (such as ours), you trust their opinion, and you get screwed.  I should have known — a glowing review the day before a movie comes out can only mean one thing; the writer got a big fat check from a movie studio to say what they said.

Here’s the part where I warn you not to see this movie.  If you know me, if you’ve visited this site before, you know how hard this is for me. I love Christian Bale. I have a bromance and a man crush on him. It’s no secret.  For me to tell you not to see this movie must mean something.  Stay away. Stay far away.  Regardless of how you feel about Johnny Depp or Christian Bale. You do not want to see this movie. I assure you.

 

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