Shoot ‘Em Up is probably one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in recent months. But don’t let that fool you, Shoot ‘Em Up is still a buttload of fun. As long as you remember one thing: don’t take it seriously.
Clive Owen’s character (Mr. Smith) gets portrayed as a complete bad-ass, with just a hint of cheesiness. Okay, maybe he’s a cheese-ass, with a hint of bad. We’re supposed to believe that he’s an all seeing, all knowing, all killing machine. When in reality, he’s a cheesey line delivering clown, who eats a lot of carrots, and spews lines like “eat your vegetables” after he punches people in the face, with a carrot.
Paul Giamatti (Hertz), is supposed to be a bad-ass villian. After making movies like Sideways, I simply have no respect for this guy. Even after making a semi-normal movies such as Lady In The Water, The Illusionist, and The Nanny Diaries, I just can’t get past that whole Sideways debacle.
Shoot ‘Em Up is full of action, which I love. There’s lots of guys kicking, and punching, and shooting, and the like. Which, if that’s all you’re expecting, that’s all you’ll get. And I’ve no complaints about that.
I like Clive Owen, as an actor. I think he’s generally talented, and entertaining. Shoot ‘Em Up seems to be the movie he made just because he needed money. I’d like to think that the movie tried to be so ridiculous, that it’d get the same buzz that Snakes On A Plane got. That’s my only logical explanation of why they made this movie.
Let’s recap the plot:
Woman is chased, bad guys follow. Mr. Smith sees this, kills people trying to hurt the lady who happens to be pregnant. Kills bad guys, delivers baby, lady dies, takes baby. (Yes, he shoots the umbilical cord with a gun, to sever it. Yes, I’m serious.) There’s more, but you get the point.
I could go on, as the movie gets more insane, and the plot gets even harder to believe. But really? Who cares. I had fun, and enjoyed the movie. It’s a lot of fun, if you’re not expecting the next Godfather, or Saving Private Ryan movie, full of awesomeness. But if you want to see mindless action, shooting, and silly one- liners, then Shoot ‘Em Up is the movie for you.
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