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Review Info
Movie Title: Silent Hill
Director: Christophe Gans
Written by: Roger Avary
Main Cast: Radha Mitchell, Jodelle Ferland, Sean Bean
MPAA Rating: R
Runtime: 2 Hours 7 Minutes
Reviewed by: Mike
Our Rating:
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In Theaters: 4/21/2006
DVD Release: 8/22/2006
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Silent Hill
Review written on: April 23rd, 2006

Silent Hill Review

This was probably, by far, one of the absolute stupidest movies I’ve ever seen. Not just this year, but overall. Did it make any sense? No. Was there a good storyline? Absolutely not. Were the characters good? Not at all. Would I have rather watched Lost in Translation again? Most likely, yes.

I’m sure you’ve seen the trailer for this movie, it looks scary. It looks creepy. Is it? No, not at all. It’s a giant shit-fest, for lack of a more fitting word.

I can’t even come up with anything constructive to say about why I hated this movie, but I’m going to try:

  • The plot is stupid. You’d get the feeling it was a horror movie, but it’s not. It’s like a bad “Blair Witch” type movie, where it only makes sense to the writers.
  • The acting is terrible. Radha Mitchell can’t act to save her life.
  • The entire movie is too dark. I shouldn’t have to squint throughout the entire movie to figure out what the hell is going on.
  • If you’re going to make a “horror” movie, make it scary. And I don’t mean “boo!” scary, I mean “Scare the hell out of me” scary. This was neither.

    For lack of a better review, I’ll simply say that this movie will definitely be a nominee for “Worst movie of the year” for next year’s MovieSnobs Snobbies Awards. Stay far, far far away from this movie. If you watch it, you’ll hate yourself for it, and want to kill me for not warning you. But alas, I am warning you. Stay away from Silent Hill, not the town, not the video game, just the movie. Please, for the love all whatever you consider holy, stay far, far away.

     

    One Comment

    1. jason on August 2nd, 2011 at 5:56 am said:

      had other thoughts though good post

      (0)


     

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