After all the hype I’d heard about this movie, I’d certainly hoped it wouldn’t suck. Luckily for me, I only spent the price of an afternoon admission to see it. I’ll get right into it:
The entire story was boring. The concept of telling multiple fairy tales in one movie, is a bad one. Not only is it a bad idea to tell all these stories in one movie, but this particular movie didn’t do it well. At all. I felt myself falling asleep a few times in a movie theater filled with teenagers, pre-teenagers and their babysitters, and the handful of parents who drew the short straw and had to take the neighborhood kids to see this crap-fest.
Normally I like Matt Damon, after all he’s in Ocean’s Eleven, and Ocean’s Twelve, amongst other great movies. And Heath Ledger, though he’s had his crap-fests in the past, has done a few decent movies in his time. But, something about these two roles, they just were both terrible. No depth to the characters, which could also be attributed to the poor script and writing, and no depth to the stories they were to portray. I felt cheated watching these two talented actors act out these two parts that are fit for high-school drama club rejects.
The writing.. don’t even ask. It wasn’t good. In fact, it wasn’t even really writing. It was more along the lines of taking a whole bunch of fairy tales (Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, etc), and mashing them up into one big story, with an overlaying story of this big-mean-tower-living-horrible-600-year-old witch lady, trying to take over the world. Which, even though it’s a story, is completely unrealistic, even in movie-land.
I felt so incredibly bored with this movie. Though, the various 12 and 13 year olds in the theater seemed to enjoy it enough to the point where they felt obliged to clap when good things happen (Yea, it annoyed the hell out of me too). Would I recommend this movie? No, not even on Netflix. Don’t give it a second thought, unless you want to waste a few hours of your life.
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