Transformers: Age of Extinction
Oh my gawd, there’s giant robots. Holy crap, look at ’em.
That’s what I kept hearing in my head, in Mark Wahlberg’s voice. Throughout the entire film.
I had high hopes. I mean, Michael Bay isn’t the best film maker ever, but he certainly knows how to make things go boom, right?
The problem with Age of Extinction is that the script, story, plot, and character depth all seem to be extinct. There’s just so truly little to this film that it almost feels a complete waste of almost three hours of your life. And that’s a really long time for an action movie. Granted, you should know that going into it if you’ve ever seen a Michael Bay movie before. That’s just what he does and who he is. This one’s no exception.
I will give it to him though, at one point, I definitely saw a scene that didn’t cut after three seconds. If you don’t know what this means, put on any Michael Bay film. Start watching and count to three. 99% of the time by the time you reach three, the camera angle has changed and the scene’s cut. It’s pretty comical to see this happen throughout almost every one of his films. The editors must hate him.
I had a lot of problems with this movie, hence my one and a half star rating. For example, throughout the first few films, all of the Transformers look the same. We know who’s who, even though they introduce a few new characters here and there. In this film, Optimus Prime doesn’t even look like Optimus Prime. He morphs into something new and shinier and souped up. And I hated it.
Don’t even get me started about the dinosaur robots that were prisoners on the alien ship that Optimus Prime rescues and they help take down the bad guys.
It was honestly like a child with ADD wrote this script. As if the writing process went like this:
“Little boy, what do you think this movie should have?”
“Spaceships. And dinosaurs. And Marky Mark. But not Sam Whitwicky.”
“Should we tell the people where he and his girlfriend are?”
“No. Don’t mention it at all.”
That’s the gist of how this must have gone. As if, at some point, someone sat down in a room and just said “let’s put every damn thing under the sun into this.” And so they did.
And it doesn’t work, even a little bit.
I wanted to like it. I love giant robots. I love explosions. I love CGI. But this is a steaming pile.
The only redeeming factor I can say is that you get to truly laugh at some of it. Sure, at the end you’ll be furious and want to demand your money back. Even if you didn’t pay for it, you’ll still want your money back.