In theory, this movie should be awesome. Right? Giant robots. Explosions. Gun battles. Did I mention the giant robots? You’d think Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen would be a smash hit. It’s been out just a few days, and had already broken $120 million by close of Friday. That makes it successful, doesn’t it?
It depends on who you ask. And if you ask me, the movie was terrible. I’ve learned a valuable lesson today, at the hands of Michael Bay: It takes more than giant robots and explosions to make a good movie.
It also takes a plot. While Transformers 2 had a plot, it’s a terrible one. It makes no sense, and isn’t explained nearly enough to have any substance to it. For those who haven’t seen it yet, I’ll summarize: Decepticons (the bad guys) came to Earth hundreds of years ago and made a big machine that can kill our sun, to give them energy. The Autobots (the good guys) have to try to stop them.
Really? They get power from killing suns of planets? Imaginative, but completely stupid.
What else does a movie need to be good? How about some good acting? Also missing from Transformers 2. While I certainly won’t argue with anyone about how hot Megan Fox is, if I never hear her speak or see her try to act again in my life, it’ll be too soon. And Shia LaBeouf may have been a big rising star back when he did Holes, but let’s face it, he really outgrew his window of adorability. He’s striking out lately in the acting department. Please don’t get me started on the last Indiana Jones film he was in.
While the film did have some high moments, and some interesting scenes, overall it was boring. Filled with geographic inconsistencies and plot holes. (Seriously, behind the Air and Space Museum in D.C. is a field full of retired aircraft? No, there’s just another museum back there.)
To judge whether or not you’d like the movie, let’s think back to the second Pirates of the Caribbean film. What was your first thought when you left the theater? “Wow, that was bad. It felt like a really long commercial for the third film.” That’s exactly that Transformers 2 is, a commercial for the next film. It ends on one of those “there’s gonna be another one!!” moments, and it just feels dirty, and cheap.
If you want to watch a movie with awesome CGI, and a good story line, see Star Trek, you’ll thank me. Skip Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Wait for it to hit Netflix, and then get it. You’ll still be mad you wasted two and a half hours of your life, but at least it’ll have saved you $10 on the price of admission. Be sure to read the “spoiler” below, to find out my biggest pet peeve of the film.
This movie is called Revenge of the Fallen. I don’t know about you, but where I come from, “revenge” means I get even with someone. Not I kill Optimus Prime, brag about it, he comes back to live and kicks the ever-lovin’ crap outta me. That’s not revege.
The movie should have been called Transformers: The Good Guys Win, Again. And Some Other Plot Lines You Don’t Give A Crap About. That would have at least been more accurate, and less misleading.